Selling Nostalgia to Children

In response to my friend Amanda’s recent post about how insane it was to find Dirty Dancing
labeled as “classic,” I present this secret marketing chart. Seriously. it’s secret. I didn’t just make it up. Would I do a thing like that? Seriously.

YEARS SINCE ISSUE MARKETING CATEGORY RETAIL
VALUE
EXAMPLE
0-2 New! 73% of MSRP 50 Cent: I Will Eat Your Babies (CD) - $15.85
3-5 Discount Bin! 25% of MSRP Britney’s last album (CD) - $2.37
6-8 Retro! 115% of MSRP Britney’s first album (CD) - $18.95
9-25 Classic! 150% of MSRP Meatballs: Truly Obsessive Geek Edition (DVD) - $39.95
26-40 Timeless Classic! 500% of MSRP Tom Jones: My Career Will Never Die (8-track) - $64.95
40-75 Antique! 1000% of MSRP Casablanca II: Sam’s Revenge (35mm)- $109.25
76-150 Historically Significant! (Bids Accepted) Susan B. Anthony’s solo album (wax cylinder) - $85,000 starting bid
151 - 100,000,000 Paleological! (Bids from Rich People Accepted) Buckshot from Antietam, Osysseus’ Dentures,
Dinosaur Poo… Priceless.

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