Stupid Grant Junk has got me a bit down, and I forgot that today is a holiday (but I’m at work anyway because I have stuff to do) but I’m avoiding real work, so I’ll post funny captions for the awesome India picture that I love.

Yeah, I’ve got it right here, in a pretty gold bowl. If you ever want to see it again, leave the money in unmarked bills…

Hi, Frank? I’m here at the spot, wearing the robe, the necklace, the flowers, just like she asked. I think she stood me up.

 
 
 
 
From Brad:

4th level of enlightenment? No, no. I’m looking for the 5th level of enlightenment.

 
 
 
 
More Brad:

What does a guy have to do to catch cancer around here? I’ve got my shirt off, I’m using a cell phone, I smoke and STILL nothing!

 
 
 
 
Brad again:

What? Tech support is in North America!?

 
 
 
 
And my very favorite, also by Brad:

…and then I told them there was a tiger in the boat with me the whole time! haha!

For some reason, I have spent the last many years identifying cool band names when they come up in conversation or other places. I have generally been remiss in remembering these amazing band names. Oh, ,the hard-rocking, soul-swaying names lost to my imperfect memory! So, I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m going to write some of them down, right here. If you name your band one of these completely awesome names, please give me credit in the liner notes of your first album, and send me a free copy. The names are listed by genre.

Alt/Indie

• Everybody’s Amber. This is my favorite, and the front-runner for many years, should I choose to make a band. Which I might do. Shut up.
• Alas, Earwax! Come on, you know this is awesome.

Funk/R&B/Soul

• Ill-Gotten Booty. This is my personal choice for a funk outfit. Get it? ‘Booty’ is a double-entenderay.

Metal/Industrial

• Lovelily. I know this might go under Alt/Indie, but seriously. Much better if it’s hardcore. And bonus points if the lead singer’s name is (or can be changed to) “Lily.”

Nerdy Psychology Bands

• Stereo Type Threat. Yes. You want this name.
• Regression 2 Mean. A good, solid name. Nothing wrong with naming your band this.
• c.Diss. It stands for Cognitive Dissonance, but that was a little too nerdy.This way, you get to say “diss,” as if you were some kind of hardcore 1990s street punk, and the punctuation is vaguely reminiscent of a computer virus.
• Theory of Mind. The music would be heavy, but also, you know, heavy.

Semi-Sober Jam Rock

• The Holy Goats. Dyslexia sometimes makes for some righteous monikers.
• Phantom Honkers. This was inadvertently suggested by my sweetie pie in a comment on someone else’s Facebook wall.