More from the Foggy Morning photo shoot.

Foggy morning, grackles in a tree.

From my winter visit Up North:

redheaded kid catching air @ Skate Park

I squint my raccoony lady-macbethy eyes, beardface.

Another year has come and gone, and here I am writing another online Christmas letter to everyone instead of sending cards like considerate people do. Oh well. I married Alex so she could compensate for such deficits in my personality. (Note: Since writing this, I have migrated my photos to Flickr, so the photo links are all broken. Maybe I’ll fix them, someday).

Here’s how this newsletter works (feel free to skip sections that do not interest you):

1. Christmas Message
2. Things that have happened this year.

Note that you can click the text links or the pictures for extra information. Clicking names of places usually takes you to a map. Clicking pictures will take you to the large version of the picture. Pictures will open in a separate browser window.

Confused? Just click some stuff and see what happens.

Christmas Message

As most of you know, Alex and I are Christian, so Merry Christmas! But if you’re celebrating Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Pagan Winter Feast, or just Many Days Off Work, we wish you fondest and warmest times, as well.

Although we recognize that Christ was probably not born in December, and we are skeptical of the reality of elves, we are happy for the opportunity to join with others in celebrating Jesus’ life and acts. And we’re glad, in general, for the chance to just pause with the rest of the world, Christian or not, and enjoy a few days with friends and family.

So, Happy Holidays. If you’re reading this, we love you. Lots.

Year In Review

The year has been busy, and full of bad news, good news, and just news. Some of the bad news is that Alex and I still do not live together. She lives in Hamilton, Ontario (just north of Buffalo, NY), and I live in Edinburg, TX (just south of everything). We are working very hard to get in the same place this year, but jobs, education and citizenship issues make this a sticky business. We’ll try to keep you informed. For updates (inconsistent, sometimes incoherent, but often with pictures), just check this website from time to time: www.bobbyfiend.com. It’s my personal blog and I try to give some sort of account of what’s happening in my life, on a semi-regular basis. Of course, if that’s not the kind of thing you want to read about, I recommend staying away from this website.

Winter and Spring

January is always a little depressing, as Alex and I have to separate after a month together. We got to see each other a couple of times before May, and I was even in Quebec City for a conference, but that was without Alex (it’s surprising how far apart some of these cities are). I was as sick as a dog the whole time, so it’s just as well. Alex got to go to St. Johns, Newfoundland (which is a million miles from anything) for a different conference, and brought back enough pictures and stories to make me want to go back with her, someday. During the summer. Not the winter.

The semester kept me busy. I seemed to be traveling every other weekend. I made about half a dozen trips, what with visiting Alex and academic responsibilities. In between, I tried to keep my classes and research moving, which is not as easy as I had always imagined it would be. My sweetie, during this time period, was working on her dissertation, (a process I can sympathize with) and also c0-starring in two plays: The Night of the Iguana and Oedipus Rex. Later, in the summer, she and I both helped out (she as an actor and I as a stagehand) in a community production of Good Night Desdemona, Good Morning Juliet.

At the end of Spring, I flew up to Canada (as is my wont), breathed a huge sigh of relief, and settled in for a summer of teaching and hanging out with my wife–something I’m not taking for granted, quite yet (give me another year or two…).

Summer

Summers for the last two years have been my relief periods. Not because of the work load, although it’s reduced somewhat, but because I get to spend three months with my wife. This year, like last, we hung out in her un-air-conditioned third-floor apartment while the temperature inside climbed to about 100 degrees sometimes. Odd that I’m hotter in Ontario during the summer than I would be in my fully-air-conditioned apartment in Texas.

We both enjoyed our academic work (I was teaching an online class and doing research; Alex was still slaving away on the dissertation), and enjoyed just being around each other. We even played some hockey, which was a definite first for me. Good times.

The last half of the summer was a crazy round of travel. We spent a week at Alex’s parents’ lovely cottage, about 3 hours north of Toronto, with our friends Amanda, Scott and Brad, as well as Alex’s brothers, sister, their significant others, her in-laws, niece and nephews, and parents. It was a wonderful time, and it’s hard not to fill this entire page with photos from that experience. While we were there, we played disc golf (hooray!) at a course in South River, and spent a day paddling a canoe in Algonquin Park. I’d go back in a second.

After Northern Ontario, we drove quickly back to Southern Ontario, then flew to the wedding of my friend Scott and his bride, Lisha, in the mountains near Pike’s Peak, Colorado. It was gorgeous up there! Alex and I are keeping an eye out for academic jobs in the area ;).Directly on the heels of this trip–meaning we didn’t even go home first–we flew to Washington and visited my delightful cousin Sharon and her family, then headed to Idaho for the Rogers Family Reunion. We were, honestly, a little concerned at the somewhat low attendance, but within an hour we were enjoying ourselves immensely. Especially fun was playing with our nieces and nephews, most of whom Alex had never met, and all of whom had grown up tons since the last time I saw them. I love them all dearly, and hope to get to hang out with them more, in the future. So, my siblings need to visit me in Texas more often. And bring your kids.

As you might have guessed, after the Colorado-Washington-Idaho trip, it was back to Ontario, whirlwind unpacking-then-packing, and down to Texas to start the school year once again, and lose my wife for another semester.

Fall

Fall is exciting and depressing at the same time. Academics like Alex and I tend to have a hopeful, happy feeling at the beginning of every school year, but we also have to leave each other after three months spent getting used to living together (almost like real married people!). So, to ease the pain, Alex goes down with me to Texas and hangs out for a couple of weeks or more, and we get to be a normal husband and wife for a little longer. This time, we got adventurous (her idea) and camped on the beach at South Padre Island. It was a wonderful experience, although I’ve heard since that it may not be entirely safe, despite the fact that it’s a state park. So, deep sigh, we probably won’t be doing that again any time soon, at least just the two of us. But we enjoyed the experience immensely, and we love the beach. We found great peace in putting our folding chairs in the shallow breakers and zoning out for hours while the waves tickled our feet.

It seems that right after Alex left I got a new cat. Sigh. Not that I needed one. His name is Moses (because he came out of the reeds), and I found him near a reservoir outside Edinburg. The whole story is explained if you click here. Anyway, now I have two cats. And they both live with my sweetie in Canada, because it’s impractical to get care for them when I leave for a week or a month or a summer. Despite his unplanned appearance, I still like Moses. Good cat. And I miss both my feline monsters when I’m in Texas.

Work is work. I’m finally collecting data on a project that should have been done half a year ago, and I’ve applied for two more grants–one small and the other very large (10 universities, about 100 investigators, and tens of millions of dollars from the Department of Homeland Security). I keep busy with our little Psychology Department’s hopes for a PhD program, advising students, teaching classes, and working on my research. It’s a little more than your average full-time job, but I don’t mind. I’m trying to build up some momentum that will carry me a while when Alex and I finally live together and I feel like having true 40-hour work weeks for a bit.

In October, I was invited to be part of a university expedition to Monterrey, Nuevo Le�n, M�xico. About 20 of us met with some officials of a couple of universities down there, and that is turning into an interesting collaborative experience. I hope I get to do some cross-border research, cause Monterrey is a very cool place. I’m looking forward to going back.

Alex and I are on the job market, and it’s an unpleasant experience. Academic politics are active, sometimes irritating, and often confusing. I’m reminded of my father, quoting Napoleon, telling me not to assume malice when incompetence is the more likely answer… We don’t know if Alex will get the job she has applied for at UTPA (where I work), or if we will both be offered jobs at one of the half-dozen places we both applied to, together. I love my work, but I’ll give it up if I can be with my wife. If none of our plans pan out, we’ll be thinking fast. Plan C might be a bit creative. We’ll have to wait and see.

Alex has stayed busy, trying to regulate her very disobedient sleeping schedule, working tirelessly on her dissertation, playing hockey, and even rehearsing for another play (she’s Lady MacBeth). I think she’s at her best when she’s got a few irons in the fire. We have kept in touch as much as possible, visited once or twice this semester, and are now together for nearly a month, which is lovely. Phone calls and seeing each other once a month don’t really cut it, sometimes.

It’s the winter holiday season, now, and that has always been a time to try to reconnect with family and friends I don’t talk to very much. I’ve always been terrible at keeping lines of communication open, so I hope you’ll forgive me for the generic flavor of this message, and know that I still care about you. Happy Holidays.

Diane Arbus would be proud.

I don’t know why I suddenly started to like this little snapshot. maybe because it looks so surreal, with the contrast of the three different qualities of light. I find interesting incongruities in the subject matter, too. Actually, it’s just Alex and me having dinner at a cabin in Tennessee, and I didn’t intend any of the interesting aspects of the photo; accidentally interesting.

In other news, this morning on my ride to work, I understood how I will eventually die. I will be lying in a hospital bed, and the doctor will have a grave look on his face (he will look like the doctor from BSG), and Alex and the children will be shaking their heads, sadly, as if they knew it all along. The medical chart will show that I have multiple cancers, respiratory problems, and probably some kind of brain damage, all due to biking to work while sucking down the exhaust of a hundred pickups and SUVs per day. In the next hospital room over, there will be a soccer mom and her yuppie husband, in for a checkup, and in perfect health. In fact, they’re so healthy, they’re scrapping their plans to start cycling, or taking walks. The doctor tells them they’ll live to be a hundred, as long as they avoid breathing any of the air outside. Cause that stuff’ll kill ya.

I’m Bobby. Bobbyfiend. Or Bobby Fiend, if you prefer a two-word name. Whatever. Anyway, I don’t know if anyone reads this, but it’s fun to post stuff here. I post pictures, stories, and general ramblings and rantings about things I find interesting. No guarantee you will find them interesting. I tend to blather on about behavioral science, religion, politics, outdoor activities like bicycling and disc golf, indoor activities like breaking things and trying to reassemble them, and of course my beloved sweetie pie Alex and our friends and family.

Look around, read posts, and comment if you like (click on the title of a post to do that). Feel free. Visit the photos and enjoy their amateurish goodness.

I hope you enjoy the stay. Ta ta.