What did I do today, you ask? I’ll tell you. I drove ten or twelve hours and took an exam that was kind of stressful. It really was. Now I feel tired and happy to be done, and fairly worried that I may have to do this again in six months.

I studied like mad yesterday (and like, um, frustrated? the day before), went to bed late, and got up this morning at 5. By 6, I was on the road with a full tank of gas and my tires properly inflated. With the glaring omission of healthy food, I packed everything I could possibly have needed. That glaring omission led to waaaaay too much snacking on junky stuff from convenience stores. Way too much. But look at it this way: Michael Phelps, you know how many calories he ate during the Olympics, right? Well, he only traveled, what, a few hundred meters? Me, I ate less than he did (somewhat), and I traveled hundreds of miles. Continue reading →

So tomorrow I get up crazy early, drive to Austin (about 5 1/2 hours), take my oral exam to be a licensed psychologist in Texas, drive back home. Long day. Today I’m trying to make up for weeks of procrastination in studying. My friend Philip (who is on the licensing board) says most people pass. Thanks. This will make me feel much better if I’m one of the few, the proud, the morons who manage to fail.

I really have been mostly dedicated in my studying, though I don’t know how effective. But I stop every so often and browse random websites. And here is some internet stuff:

>:\ Yet another move by a police agency away from transparency and accountability.

XD Star torpedoes! Massive, galaxy-sized clusters of stars (whirling, I hope) that rip through space and wreak havoc when they encounter galaxies, etc. So cool! Hubble, you are my homeslice.

:D you know I’m a sucker for a cleverly vandalized sign. Also I like pie.

:/ Five economists who accurately predicted the current crisis (allegedly) have offered their views on the near future. I haven’t read through all the essays, but it seems they do not see a particularly rosy picture.

!!! In the LJ “found objects” community, a Super Lucky User called bo_bailey posted scans of a 1965 book titled (warning: not safe for children.): “The Recently Deflowered Girl.” It is some weird mix between bizarre and hilarious and depressing. It also seems to include some snarky commentary on the sexual culture wars of the 60s, just barely under the surface. Delightful illustrations (these ARE safe for children… more or less), and an approximate PG or PG-13 level of content scariness. A most entertaining read.

What it is with the completely irrelevant crap on the EPPP (the national licensure exam for psychology)? It makes no sense to me that (a) aspiring clinical psychologists have to know the details of Industrial-Organizational psychology, or (b) we should be required to have an intimate understanding of all the archaic psychotherapeutic missteps and quackery we know do NOT work and that nobody even practices anymore cough*FREUD*cough.
I figure, if AATBS (the folks who make the exam) were in charge of medical licensing, your family M.D. would have to answer questions like these before he or she would be allowed to see patients:

1. Which of the following is the most accurate representation of leech theory, as prominently endorsed in the 19th century?
a. Leechiotides are responsible for cleansing the patient’s ill humours
b. A goodly leech may purge a stout man’s augured spirits
c. The leech, if applied delicately, will remove all disease-prone impurities from the blood
d. Accurate leech placement is a feather in the cap of any competent physician

2. Galen’s humorific disease model would explain pancreatic cancer as:
a. A stygian compromise between black and yellow bile
b. A confluence of the miniature demons of the gastrointestinal tract, in the context of phlegm and bad blood
c. Unbalanced bilious secretions being overly cooled by the brain
d. The heart fire losing its steam before untimely extraction

3. Under the neoclassical Greek model of women’s medicine prevalent in the early 1900s, which of the following is sufficient reason for removing a woman’s uterus and ovaries, thus imparting better-than-even odds of condemning her to death by sepsis in the weeks of forced convalescence in a filth-ridden and psychopathology-inducing “hospital” following a horrifically nonsterile operation?
a. The wandering uterus is a threat to masculinity everywhere and must be stopped at all costs
b. Melancholy, unfeminine delusions of political equality, or a measurable sex drive are fates worse than death anyway
c. Ours is not to question why; ours is but to do what the only financially solvent member of the household — the husband — tells us to
d. She is a woman; no justification is required

4. Proper chiropractic alignment of the lumbar vertebrae and the sixth chakra will result in which of the following:
a. Improved posture, removal of bodily toxins, mental awakening and self-actualization
b. Improved posture, gait-balance correction, self-actualization and enlightenment
c. Self-actualization, aural cleansing, recovery from autoimmune diseases and viral resistance
d. None of the above; there are only five chakras

5. The ethical code for licensed massage therapists requires biannual:
a. Update of patient personal information and muscle tension profiles
b. Plea-bargain pre-agreements in the case of national or state-level congressional clients
c. Bloodborne pathogen screening and criminal background check
d. Cross-referencing of sex-offender registries with client lists

6. As a medical anthropologist, you are asked to evaluate the physical and mental health of a group of Quiche Maya in the highlands of Guatemala. Your first step should be:
a. Approach the village council and ask for your horoscope according to the Tzolkin
b. Build relationships with the women’s circles
c. Prescribe antibiotics and antiviral agents
d. Declare your allegiance to the traditional healing methods of the shaman

7. Consulting as a marine biologist for West coast fisheries, you encounter evidence of illegal commercial fishing in the salmon migration waters. The best course of action for maximum preservation of the endangered population is:
a. Geotagging a random sample of salmon
b. Relocation of at least 1,000 salmon breeding pairs to freshwater hatcheries
c. Political activism in the context of the Endangered Species Act
d. What the hell do inane questions like this have to do with becoming licensed as a medical doctor

 Byootiful Heron in da Sky

So today is last full day before going to Canada. I always get a little excited, even though I have been there many times. This time, I haven’t seen Alex in a month and a half, and she’s in a play! A really cool one! I’m looking forward to seeing it. First, though, I need to get a bunch of stuff done here, and figure out what the crapwaddies I’m doing about my licensure exams. The open-book jurisprudence exam came in the mail last week, but I haven’t worked on it yet. I have to send it back by April 4.  The EPPP (the big scary half-day national exam) has to be scheduled by mid-May; I got my letter yesterday. If I schedule it very quickly, I might be able to take it in time to also do the orals this summer (July). If I schedule it a little too late, I won’t be able to take orals until January. What to do… I certainly haven’t studied enough yet, so the question is, how much can I study before the time I would need to take this test? Eek, as they say. Eek, indeed.