How Not to Get Tenure

STORIES

Emperors (short story, about 15 pages)
Detlev Grundig is going on two centuries old. His social life is subpar, he is thirty kilos overweight as someone else’s fashion statement, and his third marriage (to the same woman) is a bit stale. He is also being followed by some guy for unclear reasons.
Links: - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Ja and the Devil (novelette - Coming Soon)
Ja doesn’t quite fit in with her family, her friends or her clan. Sure, she’s as lethal with a sling as the next woman, and even kind of attractive (in a nerdy sort of way), but she likes scrolls and books and numbers. What’s a girl to do? Join a suicidal mission to a deadly, ancient fortress, that’s what.
A Cure for Magic (short story - Coming Someday)
Genetic treatments have made mental illness a largely historical concept, but Freddy seems to have slipped through the cracks. Lucky for him, there’s a researcher who is looking for brains like his (bad ones, that is).
Lia (novelette - Almost Certainly Coming Eventually)
A down-and-out public defender’s unrequited childhood love shows up on his doorstep, asking him to hide a few things for her. She’s a genius with a troubled past and ties to a mysterious biotech organization. He’s a guy who once won a contest for hiding a dummy.
Charles (non-sci-fi flash fiction - Coming At My Whimsy)
With something this short, a description might be longer than the actual story…

NOTES ABOUT THIS PAGE:I’m new at this whole “writing” thing1, but I’ve found it is a very effective way to avoid doing other things2. I’d like to get better, but I’m not sure how to improve. So, I’m screwing up my courage3, letting it all hang out, and seeing where the chips fall, even if it’s to their deaths. Poor chips. They never had a chance.Mostly I write pulpy science fiction of the “social” or “soft” variety. Exceptions will be noted. All comments, criticisms, thoughts, diatribes, etc. are welcome, but if you have something particularly hurty to say, and you are my friend, relative or Mom, I suggest you put a fake name (like “GWB”) and fake email (like “GeorgeBush@Whitehouse.gov”) in the comment form. This will help save my tender feelings while still giving me important feedback.

kthxbye

  1. Tragically, when I get new ideas, the innocent people — you, for instance — suffer. []
  2. Grading papers, doing research, calling my Mom… things like that []
  3. The internet is, apparently, the sticking-place []

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On Potter & Fans (no worries; no spoilers)

The “no spoilers” reassurance is silly, because 3 people ever see this LJ, and they finished “Deathly Hallows” before I did.

It was soothing to finish the book, and the series. J.K. Rowling is not a master author; she’s a great storyteller, though, and I’m glad the books were written.I enjoyed the last book as, indeed, I’ve enjoyed them all. Someday I’ll read them again. Maybe. Possibly. Perhaps. They’re really long.

I have thought many times of the predicament she was in for the last book (not that I felt too sorry for the multimillionaire), due to the success of Books 1-6. One of her recent comments in that vein, referring to loose ends that she did not fully tie up in Book 7, made me chuckle a bit:

“It would have been humanly impossible to answer every single question that comes up, because I’m dealing with a level of obsession in some of my fans that will not rest until they know the middle names of Harry’s great, great grandparents.”

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There’s information, and then there’s *information*

Serious News: The winds of politics blow strange. After 30 years of Freedom of Information Act requests by watchdog types in the U.S., we’re finally seeing some (inconsistent) compliance. Reports like this account of 1,000+ pages of documented Patriot Act abuses by the FBI being handed over to citizen groups are becoming more common. I submit that scandals such as detainee abuse at Abu Ghraib are part of what has swung the balance.

Meanwhile, in Canada, decades of government and military information freedom is now being throttled, apparently specifically in the area of detainee treatment in Afghanistan. This is not good.

Less Serious News: What could be more awesome than a contest for librarians to pimp out their library carts?  I can’t think of many things at all. Pictures here.

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Dorothy Parker was Awesome. From a safe distance.

1 - Cover the children’s eyes.
2 - Read.
3 - Feel the joy.
4 - My source: Wikiquote.org (although I’ve been a D.P. fan for a while)

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
~ reviewing Atlas Shrugged

It is that word ‘hummy,’ my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
~ reviewing A. A. Milne’s book in her “Constant Reader” column in The New Yorker

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
~ from Dorothy Parker: What Fresh Hell is This? (1988) by Marion Meade

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
~ As quoted in Turning Numbers into Knowledge (2001) by Johnathan G. Koomey Continue reading →

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Book Game. Questionable Entertainment Value.

From Sam Vega’s Vox Blog:

  1. Grab the nearest book.
  2. Open the book to page 23.
  3. Find the fifth sentence.
  4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
  5. Don’t dig for your favourite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

The chisel punched through the aluminum cover and I could see he was pounding the chisel right into the engine head. On the next blow he missed the chisel completely and struck the head with the hammer, breaking off a portion of two of the cooling fins.

“Just stop,” I said politely, feeling this was a bad dream.

–Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

….and now I have read three entire sentences from that book :)

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memey memey memey


so cute…
Click the cut to see a meme my sweetie found. She asked that I do it, so how could I refuse? I mean, she’s so cute and all. Continue reading →

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Oh, the usual…


Brains are Sexy

I think I’m mostly posting for my own amusement these days… But let’s look at recent developments.

1. My honey (pictured above) left yesterday. That bites. But I’ll see her in a week. That’s very non-bitey. Except for Dexter.

2. Texas is something of an autocracy when it comes to higher education. The governor runs it. Currently, this is a governor who won his reelection bid with about 30-odd percent of the vote. Niiiiiice. And he appoints the entire board of regents for the University of Texas System (of which my university is a teensy part). The board of regents makes the rules. And they cannot be argued with (well, I suppose they could, but the regents don’t have to listen). And they all just happen to be the kind of people who might conceivably make large contributions to a gubernatorial campaign–and be very difficult for any educators to oppose in any legislative action. Lawyers and bussinesspersons. Not an educator among them, from what I’ve heard (although I’ll have to do my homework and verify this). I’m sure they’re all very nice, very intelligent people. But come on. Should an automotive assembly plant be governed completely by a bunch of anthropologists and sociologists? Should a bread company be run by recycling specialists? Should law firms be run by teachers? (oh, wait… maybe that one is a good idea…)

Anywayz, that’s how we get rules in our official university policy that state that we non-tenured types can be fired at any time (although we do get advance notice), for any cause–good, bad, or silly. There’s even a rule that states that the administration doesn’t have to give any reason (seriously) or any explanation for firings. Freaking scary.

For tenured types, the situation looks a little better. There’s a whole section in the University policies (which mirror the System policies) explaining how they get a hearing, and they can assemble evidence, and call witnesses and cross-examine, and get a statement that they’re being fired for good reason, etc. But later on, it says the president of the University or the provost can just fire them, as well, and they don’t have to explain themselves to anyone. Give them a fair trial and then hang them.

Maybe this is why I heard from a few profs (before I moved here) that Texas is a nice place, but you wouldn’t want to teach there. Me, I love my job; I guess all I can do is make myself valuable in general, so that if I get canned (for no reason at all that nobody has to explain to me), I can maybe get a job somewhere else.

Pale comfort, but better than none. As one of my fellow profs says (quoting Rousseau), none of this is a problem while we have a benevolent king–er, president. but look out for the king’s idiot son.

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blurry photo - blurry life


A & Me at San Diego Temple 11/05

It’s freaking cold here! I mean, for Texas. I don’t think it’s quite hit freezing yet, but it’s been hanging around freezing’s neighborhood, giving it the evil eye. The cold doesn’t want to really go away, even when I’m indoors. Today on the elliptical trainer, I (yes, it’s true) CHAFED MY NIPPLE! Yes, Virginia, men have nipples too. And they get chafed. By their shirts. It really hurts, in an embarrassing sort of way.

I saw a totally adorable video of my wife and our cat. He’s adorable and evil. She’s beautiful and significantly less evil. It’s like seeing vanilla and chocolate, right there in the same dish.

I have no motivation to do anything. It’s depressing. It may be due to Greg Bear’s habit of ending books on distinctly unresolved and unhappy notes, and getting you there in a style that Patricia Cornwall outgrew in her 20s. The plot and sci-fi elements were good, though. Maybe I should aim for bed.

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wormy butt, wormy butt…


Stairs at Museum in NYC 5/06

In this post: missed Temple appointment, delicious dinner, scary book leading to survivalist mentality, worms in cat’s butt.

Continue reading →

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OSWho and the Laptop from Hell


Tree in the wind….ow

OSU lost horribly. What was Troy Smith thinking? What happened to our offensive line? Is it just a case of business as usual (i.e., the entire team spent every day since the regular season getting drunk and violent in the bars on High Street in Columbus, instead of practicing), or is there something else going on? Could it be…. voodoo?

I think it’s voodoo. It can’t just be that Florida’s game was awesome (although it was). OSU made egregious errors, one after another. Smith got sacked about a half a dozen times. He threw passes to nobody in particular (or, in the worse cases, to people wearing a hideous, sickening blue and orange uniform). The defense was approximately as effective as a large-bore sieve.

Ugh. Painful game. I had to read some “Brief History of Progress” to keep my morale up, which is like hitting yourself with a hammer to stop the pain.

In other news, the book is as done as I can get it. Anyone who reads this blog, who would like to read 150 pages of sci-fi and give me feedback on it is welcome to it. Not that I really think I’ll publish it, or anything; I’d just like to get better at this writing thing, and I’ve truly reached the limits of what I can do with my own skillz, such as they are. Email or reply if you’re interested.

Final note: The computer saga has ended with a whimper. Continue reading →

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The wall next to our table at an Italian restaurant in New York

The new week is upon us, and I do not yet have my laptop. Insert air-tinting stream of vulgarity here. This is my last week with my wife (followed by a break of about 5 weeks), so I’m motivated to make the most of it, but how do you even do that? We can do (some) special things together, but mostly I think we just need to live our lives, and soak up all the day-to-dayness.

In other news, This painting by Kate Kretz (an artist who apparentl lives in North Carolina) is, in my opinion, dead-on (click for the huge version), although it is unfortunate that the Virgin Mary gets such an unflattering comparison. The acerbic commentary on celebrity worship on the artist’s page is pretty great. I especially like the phrase, “…psychologically oppressive environments like this one are one of the feeding sources for the consumer…”

I’m still thinking about Kim Stanley Robinson’s The Years of Rice and Salt. A few thoughts after the cut. Continue reading →

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kitty!

OKOKOKOKOK. I promise to stop posting pictures of my cat in cardboard boxes. For a while.

Life is good. Alex and I are recovering from the holidays, and nothing much else is going on. I am always surprised at how many really wonderful gifts I get every year. This year, the top of the list are:

Movies & DVDs! (from Alex). Among other lovely and thoughtful gifts, she got me Simpsons season 5, Kate Bush’s new album Aerial (I’m very excited to listen to it), and both seasons of The Adventures of Pete & Pete! Woo hoo!

Lots of yummy junk food (mostly via Alex)

Hockey skates! This was a gift from Amanda (I’m not sure why she loves me so much… but so be it). Alex helped out, too. I got a pair that seemed good (what do I know?). Alex helped, because she’s more hockey-savvy than I am. Now I just need to get to some ice!

Now for today’s rant: Orson Scott Card. Continue reading →

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