I can’t stop finding funny things to do with this sign (from my last post). It finally (!) occurred to me that all (or nearly all) of the entries on the Large Sign of Disapproval would make really great band names! So, here are my top 10:
- #10 - Effeminate Culture
- 80s dance & new-wave cover band. The hair, the clothes, the sound and the name are all perfectly in line with the music they recreate.
- #9 - The Lying Penteco$tal$
- Hipster dufus trio trying their best to be this decade’s Violent Femmes, but failing. Presence of dollar signs in non-hip-hop band name is one of many obstacles to true fame.
- #8 - The Baby Killers
- 4-person punk outfit attempting true Ramones/Cramps/Misfits authenticity, but only achieving the noise & blasé offensiveness, without the style or personality. You don’t want to be in the front row at one of their gigs.
- #8 - The Sport’s Nuts
- Jock-rock cover band, scoring one minor chart hit with a cover of Huey Louis’ “Hip to Be Square.” The band will eventually claim the remake was supposed to be ironic, and the apostrophe in their name was intentional. Both claims are false.
- #7 - The Lazy Christians
- College rockers trying to buttress their derivative sociopolitical angst and generic alterna-pop grooves with an equally passé, johnny-come-lately Christian-bashing band name. Nobody really buys it. Or their music.
- #6 - The Sex Perverts
- Sex Pistols tribute band. Constantly touring. Should be much more successful than they are, except it turns out that 90% of the people posing as Sex Pistols fans have never actually heard any Sex Pistols music, therefore do not wish to go to a tribute concert and reveal their hypocrisy by not singing along.
- #5 - Fox Hole Religion
- The word “hole” will make consumers naturally wonder about double-entendres. Three-piece band playing neo-thrash-punk. Not as successful as Green Day, but probably more interesting.
- #4 - And Mormons
- Surprisingly, these really are 5 Mormon kids from Southern California, playing multilayered joy pop that sounds just like Sunny Day Real Estate and is unknown outside their zip code. No overtly religious content, so no crossover success in LDS-intensive markets.
- #3 - People That Talk To Pets More Than God
- Celtic-folk-trip-hop duo, playing to sold-out clubs in suburb-intensive cities. Fans will try to refer to them as PTTTPMTG, but this will fail, because it’s way too long for an acronym. Instead they’ll be known by their in-crowd as “the people.”
- #2 - Child Molesting Homosexuals
- Pure shock value band name. Guaranteed one-hit-wonder status if they can get a major record label behind them. Actually two married straight couples, playing sunshine pop.
- #1 - The Jews That Are From The Synagogue Of Satan
- Shifting collective of up to 15 musicians in different cities around North America and Europe. Music created with minimal in-person collaboration. Juicy mix of trip-hop and trance, with ethereal vocals offering oblique political commentary, unintelligible without several hours cross-referencing lyrics with Wikipedia. Concerts are rare and sound nothing like the mp3s, due to the nearly random availability of band members at any particular venue.
