Laine’s Meme.

My friend Laine did a meme, and I’m apparently as bored as she was, so I did it, too. After the cut. Warning: As she said, it’s not the most exciting meme ever. But I am apparently avoiding real work.

MOUTHOLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? It varies a lot. I like balsamic vinaigrette, poppyseed, ranch, Italian, etc. I just like salad dressing. And most other condiments. I have a condiment problem.
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Palenque!
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Hm. I don’t eat out much, anymore. I don’t think I have one.
What food could you eat every day and not get sick of? Chocolate.
What do you like to put on your toast? Butter and jam (without the jam if I’m dunking in hot chocolate, as I am right this minute)
What is your favorite type of gum? That newfangled super-duper minty stuff that all the brands have started making. Spearmint, mostly.

TECHNOLOGY
What is your wallpaper on your computer? Photo of Alex from Two Rooms
How many televisions are in your house? One
Do you use a laptop or desktop? Desktop at work, laptop (and sometimes a different desktop) at home. Laptop while at Alex’s home.

BIOLOGY
Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right.
Do you like your smile? Negative. Unfortunate teeth.
What’s your best feature? Dunno. Eyes? They’re bluish. Also I think I have distinctive ankles.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Nope¹
When was the last time you had a cavity? I probably have some right now.
What is the heaviest item you lifted last? Alex. She tends to fall asleep on the couch sometimes.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Anesthesia for wisdom teeth and ear tubes, stupid pass-out games as a kid, and once from a very aggressive electric fence.

BULLCRAPOLOGY
If you could, would you wanna know the day you were going to die? This question made my head asplode. I am mostly just glad nobody is offering me this choice.
Is love for real? Sure, but I am convinced its nature(s) is (are) widely misunderstood. Including by me.
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I’ve never given this any thought, but my name always seemed very pedestrian. My sister had fairly good luck effectively changing it to “Burford” for a few years.
What color do you think looks best on you? Others have said blue.
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Many times.
Have you ever saved someone’s life? Possibly, once, in college. Hard to verify, though.
Has someone ever saved yours? At least once: My Dad caught me in the nick of time when I dove out of a sky-tram high over the Columbia River as a toddler.

DAREOLOGY
Would you walk naked down a public street for $100,000? I would consider it. Those student loans would be history.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Depending on the kind of kiss, and the person, maybe. But with the intent I think is being implied by this question, no. $100? Puhleeze.
Would you cut off one of your little fingers for $200,000? no. I really love all of them.
Would you never blog again for $50,000? hm. never? perhaps. Double that, and we can talk turkey.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Could I cover my face and use a fake name?
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Depends on the sauce. Tabasco? Sure. Habanero sauce? No way is $1000 worth that. Oh, wait. Can I drink it, say, over the course of a year?
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Absofrigginlutely. Who has my check?

DUMBOLOGY
What is in your left pocket? Nothing, but usually it’s for change and my USB drive.
Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? I dunno, but I laughed myself silly.
Do you sit or stand in the shower? What am I, 80?
Could you live with roommates? I have had mixed success on this front. Mostly it’s been OK, but one time I kicked him out and sued him. The prevalence of nasty rumors he spread about me would suggest that our friendship never recovered from that, despite my generous offer to bury the hatchet for free travel, when we were invited to appear on two people’s court type daytime TV shows to work out our grievances.
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? One, despite living in a place that is very warm and sunny, most of the time.
Where were you born? Northern BC.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? “Run-in?” Maybe 2002, when a cop came to see why I was on my porch in my bathrobe. Also, a few years previous, I flipped a cop off, not knowing he was a cop at the time.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Happy. To clarify, I’m fairly happy, now. I would just like to continue this trend.
Who is number 1 on your top friends? Alex, natch.
Have you ever got drunk/high with this person? We’re LDS (and not terribly dyslexic), so that would be “no.”

LASTOLOGY
Friend you talked to? Alex. Amanda before her.
Last person you called? Mom. Wondering who I drew in the Christmas gift lottery this year.
Person you kissed? Alex (it says “person,” so I don’t count the cat).
When? About 30 minutes ago.
Would you kiss that person again? Well. Let… me… think… … …

FAVORITOLOGY
Number? I’ve been partial to 9 lately. Also 4. I like 7, too. Like everyone else.
Seasons? Summer (except in South Texas, when “summer” means “Pit of Hades”).
Colour? Before I was an art major in college, I used to say “orange” or “purple.” Since then, this has seemed like a crazy question.

CURRENTOLOGY
Missing someone? My brother.
Mood? Bored. Avoiding real work.
Listening to? Alex’s Discovery Channel documentary behind me :)  [edit: now it's Napoleon Dynamite]
Worrying about? Keeping my job, getting Alex to Texas, her happiness once there, citizenship, getting tenure, becoming marketable before then, research projects, classes, studying for oral licensure exams

RANDOMOLOGY
First place you went this morning? Kitchen. Then laptop.
What can you not wait to do? Odd. I can’t think of anything.
What’s the last movie you saw? Stranger Than Fiction. In theaters? I can’t even remember. [edit: since writing this, I've seen Office Space again, and now ND is on]
Do you smile often? I guess?
Are you a friendly person? I am competent at seeming so, in certain situations. :)

1. MUST… RESIST… URGE TO SAY… “YOUR MOM”! [↩]