Entries Tagged 'thoughts' ↓

I was in Gore Park last night, taking this picture. I shot nearly 30 individual frames, and used 2 of them, with tone-mapping, to create this shot. I’m fairly pleased with it. It was intended as a background for a shot I took of the Constant k cast on the set. Sadly, the latter pic didn’t turn out (curses!). But I’m working on alternatives.

Anyway, I think I’m becoming paranoid. A guy came and chatted a little with me about my camera, and I chatted back. Then, as abruptly as he had shown up, he said his brief goodbye and left. This rattled me. I finished up, packed up, and walked back to the car, looking over my shoulder, so to speak (and sometimes literally) every 30 seconds or so. I passed the guy on the other side of the fountain, talking on a payphone. I passed other guys. Some of them were on payphones. I guess I wouldn’t have been so weirded out, except that the car was parked, all by its lonesome, down 3 nearly deserted, dark streets. Great place to get mugged.

Nothing happened, of course. I blame my paranoia on my poor sleeping yesterday.

Totally unrelated to the photo: I was searching for wedding photos today, and I found one of the alternate texts for the wedding announcement Alex and I eventually sent out. Background: I was not very motivated to do any of the planning for the wedding, so my ever-ingenious wife did almost everything (not to slander Amanda, who also did almost everything). I am still not sure why we didn’t use this text for the official announcements. It’s pretty awesome, yo:

Pic: A.J. Haygarth pondering the absurdity of The Constant K

The Constant K is an absurdist play. I gots no issues with that. It understands its own absurdity. Current U.S. politics, however, are a different matter. At times, it seems we’re supposed to pretend we don’t notice the absurdity of certain things happening around us¹. Here are some insane bits:

•  An interesting graph of false statements made by the Bush administration, month by month, 2001 - 20003. Increasingly, as journalists wake from the daze they’ve been in for the last 7 years, they’re discovering that many of these false statements were probably made with a full understanding of their falsehood. And, of course, they were integral in shoring up public support for a war against a nation that had not seriously threatened the U.S.
• Kucinich introduces articles of impeachment, the mainstream media doesn’t seem to think this newsworthy.
• The major media outlets also don’t seem to think it’s very interesting that the Pentagon clearly colluded with the Bush Administration  to manipulate analysis and coverage of the war effort, creating a machine that presented the administration’s talking points as if they were independent opinions by nonbiased individuals.
• My lovely government, pushed by huge wads of cash from failing media dinosaurs, apparently shoved a DMCA-style copyright law down Canada’s throat a few days ago, by threatening to make the border harder to cross if my adoptive nation didn’t appease the big labels.
• Finally–insanely–This document from 2001 suggests that the people who work to keep us safe have been taking Neurolinguistic Programming seriously! GAH! We might as well base our criminal justice policy on phrenology, with judges and juries using tarot cards in tie-breaker situations.

Sheesh. I’m done for today.

1. kind of like in 1984 [↩]

Warning: possible spoilers. Maybe. If you’re concerned, then don’t read this.

I just watched the mid-season finale of Battlestar Galactica. First, I have to say I approve of the particular cliffhanger that was chosen. Second, I totally called it!!! Third, now that some of the Big Questions have been resolved (in ways I wholeheartedly approve of), we are free to consider some of the much more interesting questions raised through the series, such as:

• What, exactly, is meant by “all of this has happened before…?”
• Tigh suggests that the Final Four are fundamentally different from other Cylons. In what way(s)?
• Haven’t we heard that the Final Five have been to Earth? How the heck does that work? When did they have the time?
• What, exactly, does the Cylons’ God want from them?
• OperaHouseRunningStealingHybridBabyWTF?!?
• Someone/something is guiding humans & Cylons toward Earth. Who/what is it, and (especially in light of last week’s episode), with what purpose?
• What the freaking blue heebie-jeebies happened to Kara Thrace, and is she even Kara anymore?
• Okay, I admit I’m also interested in who/what the final Cylon is. Caprica Six said it was “very close,” but D’Anna said it was not part of the fleet. It will be interesting to see what odd category it fits into, now that it seems to have been ruled out of all reasonable categories.

I didn’t think BSG could capture my attention again, after I got Seriously Disillusioned with the show (which seemed to have given up on itself) in the middle of season 2. But I’m captivated, once again. I can’t wait for the final episodes in the Fall.

If you have more questions and/or any answers to these, I’m certainly open to all speculation.

Pic: Steel plant in Hamilton Harbour, with Deadly Aura of Darkness

We did the nose… and the hat. But she’s still a witch! Yeah, I darkened the sky a bit. It was a very nondescript pale blue, before. And this photo is more germane to my topic, which is…

POLITICS!!!!11!1!!

Okay, so if you’ve read any of my politics posts lately, you know that I’m highly disillusioned with the Republicans, but not much more fond of the Democrats. The whole partisan system is deeply flawed. But there is fun, exciting light on the horizon. This interesting and contentious race might (you know, slim possibility) lead to…

Last-minute Republican Candidate Switch!

Good for America? Probably not¹. Entertaining? Hell, yes! Sadly, some pundits’ predictions of a major split in the Democratic party² will probably not play out, now that things have been resolved (relatively) peacefully. But I can still hope. This country needs a viable, enduring third party that can repeatedly threaten the power bases of the existing two. Maybe Ron Paul and his buddies can get something started with their Constitutionalness, but numbers-wise, they’re looking a little like Ross Perot a few elections ago. So, I was excited at the thought of the Democrats splitting down the middle, in a year when they were on top of the presidential race.

alas, it is not to be. Sigh.

1. it really depends on who they pick, but anyone who cozies up to Bush ’s more bellicose and/or anticonstitutional policies is not getting my vote [↩]
2. sorry; couldn’t find a link; last time I saw a reference to this particular prediction was a couple of months ago, when Hillary seemed to have a chance [↩]

Picture: Jeff Santa Barbara, Constant K Director, looks pleased, despite his dark and gloomy surroundings.

The Constant K Determines the Ultimate Fate of the Universe opened last night. It was rough in some places, but overall a success. It will just get better across performances, too :) I discovered that I am no longer the boy who could not get enough stage time, back in my early 20s: I was nothing but relieved when my 5 minutes of fame was over.

In other news, it occurred to me that we need a glossary for the show (no, I’m serious), so here it is.

Altruism

Performing a helpful act without any selfish motivations; helping purely to help the individual in need, or for helping’s sake alone.

Comet

(See Meteor/Meteorite, Tumbleweed)

Dawkins, Richard

Popular ethologist and evolutionary biologist, originally prominent for his book The Selfish Gene, a seminal text for sociobiology, and for developing and popularizing the theory memes. Although he was originally known for his scientific contributions, he is lately more famous for using his considerable intelligence and education to browbeat and humiliate less-educated religious people in public forums.

Continue reading →

Rakhee Totally rocks… not that you can tell from this picture.

Alex’s first play this summer is Lee Blessing’s Two rooms. It’s painfully, heart-wrenchingly horribly sad. It’s the story of a husband and wife. He is blindfolded, handcuffed and regularly beaten by his Lebanese terrorist captors. She, back home, lives in self-imposed isolation and austerity, to share the experience with him, since she can’t get him released.

Rakhee Sapra (above) plays the wife. Alex plays the State Department worker assigned to manage her. There are only four actors, but it’s very powerful. That means people (possibly including me… I admit nothing) cry. Last night, the show got a standing ovation. Yay! I didn’t even start it! Yay!

I must say that all four actors are outstanding, my wife most wholeheartedly included.

Sadly, the show right before it (it’s been double-billed) is, in my opinion, not so good. It’s an interesting effort by a student writer, but it seems to boil down to all the sexual, scatological and drug content of shows like Up in Smoke and Clerks, without any of the original or socially redeeming bits.

On the plus side, the people who aren’t frightened away by that tend to really appreciate something substantial and satisfying right afterward.

Go Alex!

Addendum:  after a sort of creepy anonymous comment on this post (hinting at the possibility of negative social consequences of my negative statements), I have decided to expand my review of the play preceding Two Rooms. I wouldn’t want people to think I just hated it, flat out. In fact, the first play had some strong points. There were several chuckles and a few belly laughs yanked from my abdomen, and some of the physical acting and comedic timing was especially humorous. The actors, most of the time, put forth solid efforts. Unfortunately, the writing seemed to me, as I have mentioned, a collection of clichéd comedic elements from a style of movies that have become ubiquitous and played-out in recent years. I had the distinct impression that the shock-value-humor element was overdone in the context of the other elements, leaving me with a bad taste in my mouth and insufficient justification for having acquired it. Part of this bad taste involved a little gratuitous sexual prejudice and some probably-unintentional-but-still-problematic victim blaming and/or misogyny. However, I am still impressed by the fact that an undergrad wrote this. It flows nicely from moment to moment, it has coherent plotting, it has reasonably well-defined characters, and (as I said before), there are some genuinely funny moments. By the standards of professional scripts, it would not fare well, but by the standards of undergraduate work, I suspect it shines quite respectably.

Grackle trapped in Houston Hobby, far out of my reach

Recent report of a woman who remembers everything¹. Every detail of her life for every day, every hour, every minute. Sound like a useful trick? It’s also extremely unpleasant, apparently:

“But I also recall every bad decision, insult and excruciating embarrassment. Over the years it has eaten me up. It has kind of paralysed me.”

“Most have called it a gift. But I call it a burden. I run my entire life through my head every day and it drives me crazy!”

A few individuals with similar conditions have been studied through the decades (e.g., the Soviet neuroscientist Aleksandr Luria’s patient “S“, detailed in The Mind of a Mnemonist), and they generally find ways to use their memory powers for some kind of benefit. But they also tend to report unpleasant side effects, one of which is an inability to “filter” memories. This is Not a Good Thing.

Our long-term memory systems are massively self-organizing, and reducing the probability of recall for certain items is a key part of the organizational strategy. In other words, forgetting is very important. Also, apparently, it makes you happier.

Perhaps I’ll get started on some forgetting, right now. There are some past incidents I would dearly love to become less aware of.

1. Well, since she was 14, anyway [↩]

I’m ready for my close-up now, Mr. Fiend

I love this photo, though it’s perhaps a little silly¹. I think Alex doesn’t like it much. She’s not a prima donna², I promise. There was context to this shot: she was getting makeup put on for her role as Lady MacBeth. That’s just how she has to have her face so the makeup person can do her thang.

In other news, our friends Craig and Melinda are likely going North before I get back from Canada. This saddens me greatly. I will miss them.

In other other news, a dream job opened up just last week at University of Waterloo. I’ve applied, and will be very, very fortunate if I get an interview (which I really don’t think is likely; I have a couple of strikes against me). However, if I get the job, then the travel/relocation crisis in our marriage shifts from the necessity of Alex leaving her home to the necessity of me leaving mine. Sigh.

Perversely, compromise doesn’t work in this situation. If we met each other halfway, we’d have to live here. And we’d both have to leave our homes and comfort zones. Nobody wins. Relashunships iz hard.

1. but also, you must admit, a little awesome! [↩]
2. in the colloquial sense [↩]

El Pipe (Insert Phallic Symbol Comment Here)

The more I learn about immigration, the more incomprehensible the standard conservative–and occasionally liberal–talking points become. Immigrants are criminals. Immigration is bad for the U.S. Immigration breaks down “family values.” Fred Thompson vocalized the most paranoid claims at the Prescott Bush Awards Dinner (in 2007, I think): “Twelve million illegal immigrants later, we are now living in a nation that is beset by people who are suicidal maniacs and want to kill countless innocent men, women, and children around the world.” Continue reading →

McCain, if he continues to be as inconsistent as he has hitherto been, might turn around once in the White House, stop his on-again-off-again fetish with being the lap dog of the ultraconservative GOP money base, and do some good things. Clinton, if elected, might become reliable, honest, noncorrupt, and for some reason uninfluenced by her hefty campaign contributions from pharmaceutical and oil companies. However, neither of them has expressed any intention of working to fundamentally reverse the anti-constitutional, antidemocratic policies that our current administration has turned into the executive office’s status quo.

Bush’s (and his lackeys’) use of signing statements, the State Secrets privilege, the Justice Department, and other less obvious loopholes and tactics has begun to turn this nation into something much less than the republic our forebears signed up for, over 200 years ago. Shoot, less than the one we thought we lived in, even 20 years ago. Almost anything can be done by government agents citing “terrorism” as the reason, the police have sweeping powers and near impunity to implement any “anti-terrorist” actions (which are beginning to look like warm-ups for martial law), and nearly every government-related agency seems to be turning into police, whether they like it or not. We flout the very international war conventions we pushed so hard for after WWII. The President, at his discretion, has taken disturbing precedents going back to the 1960s to a new level, essentially claiming the right to unilaterally declare war. He ignores his constitutional limitations and keeps questionably legal actions from public scrutiny while citing privileges that no president before him has used to this extent. Notably, a congress full of Democrats seems too cowed to call him on most of these things, so he keeps doing them.

As a side note, perhaps you can understand why I have little hope left that we will see the end of 2008 without another unjustified war of aggression in the Middle East.

Barack Obama has gone farther than the other candidates in expounding a clear intention to adhere to both the letter and the spirit of the constitution reverse these trends, and bringing the real power of the Executive Branch back down to where it was intended to be, under our constitution. My hope is tempered, as every single candidate, including Barack, has reserved the right to use signing statements in at least some situations. On the other hand, Barack, if elected, will be less beholden to special interests for his election, and have (arguably) a stronger record of keeping campaign promises, than any president in at least a generation.

I firmly believe that the consequences of letting the executive branch hold onto the power that the Bush administration has grabbed will be far greater and have worse long-term consequences than any decision (pro or con) on the other substantive issues that seem to be driving the elections. More than immigration. More than civil rights. More than abortion. More than  economic policy. More than military policy. More than foreign policy. This is partly because the question of executive power can, conceivably, subsume all of those other issues.

Of course, Obama is a politician, and he’s only human. I can only hope that (a) he gets elected, and (b) he does what he says he will do. This is still a great nation, despite our apparent economic comeuppance. However, unless we fix the trend toward allowing our presidents to dominate through military/political fiat, our children might not get to live in this beautiful nation. They will live in a nightmare, and they will simply accept it as their dismal reality.

What it is with the completely irrelevant crap on the EPPP (the national licensure exam for psychology)? It makes no sense to me that (a) aspiring clinical psychologists have to know the details of Industrial-Organizational psychology, or (b) we should be required to have an intimate understanding of all the archaic psychotherapeutic missteps and quackery we know do NOT work and that nobody even practices anymore cough*FREUD*cough.
I figure, if AATBS (the folks who make the exam) were in charge of medical licensing, your family M.D. would have to answer questions like these before he or she would be allowed to see patients:

1. Which of the following is the most accurate representation of leech theory, as prominently endorsed in the 19th century?
a. Leechiotides are responsible for cleansing the patient’s ill humours
b. A goodly leech may purge a stout man’s augured spirits
c. The leech, if applied delicately, will remove all disease-prone impurities from the blood
d. Accurate leech placement is a feather in the cap of any competent physician

2. Galen’s humorific disease model would explain pancreatic cancer as:
a. A stygian compromise between black and yellow bile
b. A confluence of the miniature demons of the gastrointestinal tract, in the context of phlegm and bad blood
c. Unbalanced bilious secretions being overly cooled by the brain
d. The heart fire losing its steam before untimely extraction

3. Under the neoclassical Greek model of women’s medicine prevalent in the early 1900s, which of the following is sufficient reason for removing a woman’s uterus and ovaries, thus imparting better-than-even odds of condemning her to death by sepsis in the weeks of forced convalescence in a filth-ridden and psychopathology-inducing “hospital” following a horrifically nonsterile operation?
a. The wandering uterus is a threat to masculinity everywhere and must be stopped at all costs
b. Melancholy, unfeminine delusions of political equality, or a measurable sex drive are fates worse than death anyway
c. Ours is not to question why; ours is but to do what the only financially solvent member of the household — the husband — tells us to
d. She is a woman; no justification is required

4. Proper chiropractic alignment of the lumbar vertebrae and the sixth chakra will result in which of the following:
a. Improved posture, removal of bodily toxins, mental awakening and self-actualization
b. Improved posture, gait-balance correction, self-actualization and enlightenment
c. Self-actualization, aural cleansing, recovery from autoimmune diseases and viral resistance
d. None of the above; there are only five chakras

5. The ethical code for licensed massage therapists requires biannual:
a. Update of patient personal information and muscle tension profiles
b. Plea-bargain pre-agreements in the case of national or state-level congressional clients
c. Bloodborne pathogen screening and criminal background check
d. Cross-referencing of sex-offender registries with client lists

6. As a medical anthropologist, you are asked to evaluate the physical and mental health of a group of Quiche Maya in the highlands of Guatemala. Your first step should be:
a. Approach the village council and ask for your horoscope according to the Tzolkin
b. Build relationships with the women’s circles
c. Prescribe antibiotics and antiviral agents
d. Declare your allegiance to the traditional healing methods of the shaman

7. Consulting as a marine biologist for West coast fisheries, you encounter evidence of illegal commercial fishing in the salmon migration waters. The best course of action for maximum preservation of the endangered population is:
a. Geotagging a random sample of salmon
b. Relocation of at least 1,000 salmon breeding pairs to freshwater hatcheries
c. Political activism in the context of the Endangered Species Act
d. What the hell do inane questions like this have to do with becoming licensed as a medical doctor

…not that my actual freshman roomie was like this. Sometimes psychological diagnosis is difficult and counterintuitive. Sometimes the categories don’t form “natural kinds” to the untrained eye. However, sometimes they absolutely do. I was struck just now, studying for the EPPP, of how very, very familiar the following diagnostic category is. I think everyone has known at least a couple of people like this in their life:

At least 5 of the following criteria present, in a stable pattern, starting at least in adolescence, and continuing throughout most of life:

• feels uncomfortable when not the center of attention
• often inappropriately sexually seductive or provocative
• emotions are shallow and shift rapidly
• uses speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacks detail
• displays exaggerated emotional expression
• is easily influenced by others
• considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are

Or maybe I have just had some weird (girl)friends.

I was in my late 20s before I realized that “The Beatles” was spelled the way it is as a riff on “beat.”

Until then, I just thought they wanted to spell it differently from “beetles,” just to be cool or something.

This was taken last Saturday, on a teeny dredge island in the Laguna Madre, between Port Mansfield and South Padre Island, TX. Every time I see sights like this — kayak beached while lucky owner(s) hang out in outdoorsy leisure — I feel definite envy for the owner. Well, on Saturday, I was that guy. In your face, mindless urban drudgery!

The freedom in the photo also presents something of a contrast with my current feelings, which stem from being forced to produce documents and answer the questions of a frighteningly unchecked national police force to justify my fully law-abiding travel.

I’m here in Harlingen, TX at Valley International Airport (code: VIA, but note that the code HRL still works for some travel sites… heh heh). Not a bad little place. 2 or 3 times bigger than my home airport of McAllen International (MFE), and nearly an hour away, but HRL has Southwest, which saves me between $100 and $150 on this flight. Yay!

Unlike some days, I got through security with no problems (yay!). However, unlike any day in my experience, we just had half a dozen TSA agents put on their uber-creepy blue latex gloves and roam through the gate area, asking to see everyone’s boarding passes. What? They were nice about it, and very businesslike, but I am also convinced I absolutely had no choice. I suspect the niceness lasts exactly as long as you do what they tell you.

I grew up during the Cold War. The Soviet Union was a freaking scary monster. I am still convinced of this. Republicans built long and lucrative careers by reminding us of the Soviet threat to the freedoms and privacy we enjoyed as Americans.

Ironic, then, that a perhaps-unprecedented increase in centralized government authority (especially, it would seem, police authority) and, as a result, steepest reduction in American freedoms have been driven by a Republican presidency and congress. Who would have guessed? Me, I would have thought it would be the Kennedys, and that the Republicans would try to stop them. Boy was I wrong.

I saw a bumper sticker on my way here. It said, “Had enough? Vote Democrat.”

Yes, comrade, my papers are in order.  Am I free to go?

I can’t stop finding funny things to do with this sign (from my last post). It finally (!) occurred to me that all (or nearly all) of the entries on the Large Sign of Disapproval would make really great band names! So, here are my top 10:

#10 - Effeminate Culture

80s dance & new-wave cover band. The hair, the clothes, the sound and the name are all perfectly in line with the music they recreate.

#9 - The Lying Penteco$tal$

Hipster dufus trio trying their best to be this decade’s Violent Femmes, but failing. Presence of dollar signs in non-hip-hop band name is one of many obstacles to true fame.

#8 - The Baby Killers

4-person punk outfit attempting true Ramones/Cramps/Misfits authenticity, but only achieving the noise & blasé offensiveness, without the style or personality. You don’t want to be in the front row at one of their gigs.

#8 - The Sport’s Nuts

Jock-rock cover band, scoring one minor chart hit with a cover of Huey Louis’ “Hip to Be Square.” The band will eventually claim the remake was supposed to be ironic, and the apostrophe in their name was intentional. Both claims are false.

#7 - The Lazy Christians

College rockers trying to buttress their derivative sociopolitical angst and generic alterna-pop grooves with an equally passé, johnny-come-lately Christian-bashing band name. Nobody really buys it. Or their music.

#6 - The Sex Perverts

Sex Pistols tribute band. Constantly touring. Should be much more successful than they are, except it turns out that 90% of the people posing as Sex Pistols fans have never actually heard any Sex Pistols music, therefore do not wish to go to a tribute concert and reveal their hypocrisy by not singing along.

#5 - Fox Hole Religion

The word “hole” will make consumers naturally wonder about double-entendres. Three-piece band playing neo-thrash-punk. Not as successful as Green Day, but probably more interesting.

#4 - And Mormons

Surprisingly, these really are 5 Mormon kids from Southern California, playing multilayered joy pop that sounds just like Sunny Day Real Estate and is unknown outside their zip code. No overtly religious content, so no crossover success in LDS-intensive markets.

#3 - People That Talk To Pets More Than God

Celtic-folk-trip-hop duo, playing to sold-out clubs in suburb-intensive cities. Fans will try to refer to them as PTTTPMTG, but this will fail, because it’s way too long for an acronym. Instead they’ll be known by their in-crowd as “the people.”

#2 - Child Molesting Homosexuals

Pure shock value band name. Guaranteed one-hit-wonder status if they can get a major record label behind them. Actually two married straight couples, playing sunshine pop.

#1 - The Jews That Are From The Synagogue Of Satan

Shifting collective of up to 15 musicians in different cities around North America and Europe. Music created with minimal in-person collaboration. Juicy mix of trip-hop and trance, with ethereal vocals offering oblique political commentary, unintelligible without several hours cross-referencing lyrics with Wikipedia. Concerts are rare and sound nothing like the mp3s, due to the nearly random availability of band members at any particular venue.

On NPR today, I heard one of those “personal” essays (the ones written by presumably everyday-type writers with wildly varying skill at not sounding anesthetized). The author captured my interest by opening her piece as a long-overdue homage to the bedroom skills of unsung suburban husbands. Interesting. As an aspiring home-owning and daily-wife-contact-type husband myself, this sounded relevant.

Within about 30 seconds, she had “praised” these suburban lovers two or three times for their amazing skills in seducing their wives in spite of piles of laundry, crying children, overdue bills, and a generally tedious sense of oppression. This seemed to be in stark contrast to the horndog husbands’ carefree, sexually selfish lives. NPR will have to forgive me for turning off my radio for the next few… weeks. She might have taken a softer tone later in this veiled tirade, but then again, she can also bite me. Sometimes it gets tiring hearing crap like that.

Apparently, the following painfully evenhanded hypothetical letter is an accurate representation of how the majority of the wives of the Western World feel about their husbands (or maybe just the ones who listen to those essay things on NPR?):

Dear Abby,

My husband sometimes wants to have sex with me. This is in spite of clear evidence that I am not only a woman, but a mother, as well. As if his gender hadn’t caused enough problems on this blighted earth.

I’m just sayin’,

Offended and Sickened in Oshkosh

This awesome study by some Dutch researchers has shown that obese people and smokers actually cost healthcare agencies less money than healthy people… because they die sooner. The authors argue that anti-obesity and anti-smoking programs promoted with appeals to fiscal solvency are going to need to re-think their marketing campaigns.

This is just one example of some kind of faulty thinking. I am currently calling it the Fallacy of Everything Being Convenient¹. Other examples of this logical error may conceivably include carbon credits, pyramid schemes and the Adkins diet.

A different way to state this fallacy could be: Important problems can always be fixed with little psychological discomfort and virtually no economic cost. For every bad thing in the world, there’s a way to make it better by doing pretty much what we would have done anyway.

Don’t get me wrong; there are many solutions that smart humans have implemented without significant cost to ourselves in the short run: profit-making recycling companies, micro-loans to people in developing nations, cheap farm labor for Americans (as long as nobody looks too closely). But it doesn’t always happen.

Maybe we’ve got too many smart, resourceful people out there, steadily coming up with clever solutions to thorny problems. This leaves us, the peon public, with a vague certainty that there’s no problem so difficult that it could possibly require difficult decisions or real sacrifice.

1. I’m sure someone else has a better name [↩]

is nonymus cept foar ears

So I watched the 1982 film “Tempest” last night. A surprisingly good movie. I give it 4 out of 5 stars. Very worthwhile. Great cast, great acting, and very enjoyable writing & directing. Great release from the painful emotional tension built up throughout the movie.

Anyway, there’s a joke I misheard in there, with interesting implications for my psyche. The joke was actually this:

“What’s the definition of Jewish foreplay? Two hours of begging!”

As Alex mentioned, this is not necessarily a very ethnic-specific stereotype, as it seems men the world over might have similar complaints. But my version of the joke was much cooler, as I misheard the last word as “Baking.” :-)

Why yes, my dear, that is the smell of fresh cookies. This sweater must be so uncomfortable. Let’s take it off…

Here’s an awesome graphic that I hope is OK to post here, noting that it was shamelessly ripped off from Irony-Chan’s website. The blog is worth a look, because she’s currently working on a project to estimate the terminal velocity of a Balrog :D. She’s going all out, too. This drawing was a by-product of that pursuit:

Next item of business: Casino Royale [Spoiler Alert, not that anyone cares. It’s James Bond!]. Despite its formulaic Bond-ness in so many areas, there were some interesting things about this installment:

1. The director bent over backwards to violate certain Bond clichés. For instance, our hero does not escape the villain’s elaborate imprisonment/torture/death through a clever plan or gadget. In fact, the torture is brutally straightforward and our hero doesn’t escape at all. In another instance, Bond asks for a vodka martini. When the bartender asks, “Shaken or stirred?”007 replies, “Do I look like I give a damn?”
2. In the beginning of the movie, you’ll find one of the best on-foot chases… EVAR. Seriously. The whole movie is worth that sequence.
3. This was a guys’ film, for sure. All kinds of guys. Especially the gay ones. There seemed to be a whole lot more beefcake than cheesecake. There were a few pretty women in scanty attire, but virtually no loving, lingering pans up/down their half-naked bodies. Daniel Craig, on the other hand, received the treatment every other scene. Also, the opening credits included exactly *zero* silhouetted naked ladies on trampolines or underwater. Wha….?
4. In keeping with classic Bond tradition,  sexuality/romance is advanced partially through female suffering (and partially through painfully predictable war-of-the-sexes banter). They go for both psychological and physical, here. It’s an improvement over past Bond flicks, but a largely superficial one. On the other hand, it’s Bond. I think he would cease to exist if women ceased to be sex objects.
5. This movie was a little nuts with the trendy image-dropping. Big VAIO notebook logos. Car emblems right in the screen. And an entire sequence was filmed in a Body Worlds exhibit. Whatever.
6. I’m sure it seems so original to the under-20 crowd, but the rest of us saw The Spy Who Loved Me, and we know exactly what’s coming when James has a *gasp* relationship, instead of the standard wham-bam-witty-quip at what should have been the end of the movie. It’s kind of painful to keep watching, after that.