Category Archives: memes

Posts in this category deal with those things now called “memes.” You know, the ones that tell you to check off all the books you read as a child, or combine the letters of your name to make celebrity prescription drugs or something.

Random Album Cover

Someone (probably one of the many loutish, blasphemous souls) at came up with this awesome random thingy: you get a random wikipedia page, and the title is your band name. (squee!) Then you get a random quotation page, and the last few words on the page form the album title. Finally, the image is randomly chosen through Flickr. Results = cool, no?

All the credits and props:

Random article. Random quote page. Photo ganked from florisla‘s flickr stream (please forgive me; I will certainly make no money off this, so I think it’s OK). Photoshopping (GIMPing, actually) done by me. Minimal. Florisla’s photo was listed as CC license (I modified the reddit parameters a bit and did a random search for “interesting” with CC attribution+share-alike license, instead of a pure random thing, which kept giving me copyrighted photos), and I think I’ve treated it well. It’s completely awesome, and I’ve attributed it to him.

Spam Subject Lines as New Year’s Resolutions

Once again, I’m avoiding work. So, I have started to think about New Year’s resolutions. And I avoided doing that by cleaning residual spam out of my email inbox. Then it hit me: Why go to all the trouble to think up resolutions myself, when the spammers have already done just that? If the subject lines of my highly-personalized spam can be believed (and I think they can), spammers have both insight into my personal deficits and some specific advice for improvement.

So, here is my New Year’s resolution list, following (as word-for-word as possible) the suggestions implied by my most recent spam subject lines:

1. I resolve to become the IT consultant of perfect love making art. ((This metaphor isn’t really working for me, but I don’t want to offend any Don Juan IT folks out there, so I’ll go with it.))
2. I will make a stronger effort to confirm upon delivery. ((This is just good sense, really.))
3. I will brand some Swiss watches. ((?))
4. I will attain a huge love luger. ((Okay… I get that this is some kind of penis reference, but “luger?” Is there some subcategory of fetishists in the world who fantasize about Nazi weaponry as metaphors for body parts? Wait, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.))
5. I will upsize my manhood today! ((Problematic. Sure, it could just be a penis thing, but let’s give the spammers the benefit of the doubt. Am I just not masculine enough? Do I need to spend more time lumberjacking and belching and cat-calling women and herding cattle? Should I take it more literally, like a request that I increase my weight training while packing in the protein powder?))
6. I resolve to gain inches the easy way. ((I’m already achieving this goal, thanks to Amanda’s Nanaimo Bars. They have about 10,000 calories each.))
7. I shall represent female Viagra for most pleasure. ((This is right out; I already have a career, and I prefer to be paid with some form of government-recognized currency.))
8. When facing a love making problem, I will solve all myt problems in a few minute. ((This resolution is vague in several ways. Is this a response to a sexual performance issue (and if so, whose?), or is it some sort of problem that actually results in the creation of love? The second option is far more interesting, but could be pretty complicated. In any case, I think it’s a recipe for disaster, in demanding that I solve the problem immediately (and with poor spelling), but with no workable plan of action.))
9. I will strive to make the impression of a well off person on everybody. ((This really doesn’t seem reasonable, and I’d rather understand hyphenation than appear affluent, anyway.))
10. I will please approve or deny. ((Like #2, quite reasonable, really.))
11. I will stop certain bacterial infections forever. ((If I can pull it off, I suppose I’ll win a Nobel Prize or something.))
12. I resolve to choose my own price. ((A pretty good gig, if I can make it work.))
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Thirty Things I Did Not Know Last Year

It seems to be a “thing” to reminisce about the past year. I have found that certain outfits are all ga-ga over listing things we (as a people, I guess) did not know last year. Sure, they’re great and all — science and nature and the world around us and such — but really, what do they have to do with me?

Here are some things *I* did not know last year. They are numbered, but they are in no particular order.

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SES meme

Yeah, another meme. I’m a sheep. You’re supposed to bold the lines that apply to you, so here it is. Note my ongoing obsession with playing with my new Footnotes plugin :D
Father went to college
Father finished college
((BS in geology–Long story, later got an MA in education or something))
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
((BA in education, then MA later on))
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor ((Hm. That’s odd. I don’t think so))
Were the same or higher [socioeconomic] class than your high school teachers ((Definitely not higher. One of my HS teachers and I had the same summer job for a while)) Continue reading

New Year’s Resolutions Rock.

I did that 12 days of Christmas thing, and mine were really dumb. But I also did my New Year’s Resolutions, and they’re AWESOME. Observe.

Go to the lds every month.
Go biking three times a week.
Backup my folk regularly.
Start a mexico fund.
Keep my mission clean.
Give up reading.

So… I’m going to reduce my church attendance by 75% and my biking by about 25%, prepare for an assault on our Southern neighbors, reconsider that black-ops idea I’ve been mulling over, and save tons of time by not reading anymore!

The only confusing thing is how I should “backup my folk.” Does this mean I need to support my family? Make copies of them? Or is it referring to the folk music I am wont to dabble in… Am I supposed to become my own backup band? Well, I already am, thank you. After all, nobody else was really jumping forward to volunteer…

BTW, I’m watching one of the worst movies ever made. It’s a hoot! It’s really a lot like The Core, except probably not quite as bad.